Family And Identity

George R. R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire incorporates family very effectively. For Nobles, family is more than just relatives; it's a para-military organization with its own ideals, symbolism, and code. The Starks are the clear fan favorites, and no wonder. From the practicality of their Family Words, Winter is Coming to their belief in justice, loyalty, and honesty, the Starks are a fan favorite because they represent an ideal of “good.” In Martin's world, however, this makes them ripe targets, and it's no mystery that they drop like flies in the brutal and pragmatically human world his books have created. (Fair warning to anyone who picks up this series – don't fall in love with any of the characters!)

Contrasting the Starks are the Lannisters, whose motto Hear Me Roar are an effective warning of their expansionist power-grabbing nature. Their lion crest further underscores their ferocity, both on the battlefield and in subterfuge. Yet the Lannisters have more than their share of faults. They're often petty, short-sighted, and cruel even by Westeros' considerably loose standards. It's not hard to see how these two Noble Houses might come into conflict, and Martin masterfully uses family to help define and support his characters.

While we may not have banners, livery, family mottos or authoritarian structure, family is at least as powerful a force in the real world as it is in literature. Your family are the first humans you come into contact with – think about that! Your impression of “normal” is determined by the environment they create, your sense of worth by the value you perceive from them. While that's not to say upbringing determines all the choices we make, I don't think we recognize the power that family has over our lives. For better or worse.

Serving your family can be a powerful motivation. (Tweet This!) While I felt it was my duty to go to college and get a degree because my parents encouraged it, I had many friends who didn't go to college but worked crap jobs instead. This wasn't because of greed or laziness, but because of their family's need. While a college education may have opened up many options for them, they opted instead to earn money for an ailing parent, or support their children. Family can be a powerful thing.

Family in Literature and Pop Culture

Family was incredibly important for most Feudal societies in a way that we probably don't understand. Family determined not only belonging and social status, but inheritance and claim. Much of Shakespeare's work reveals how thorny family issues could become for both nobility and royalty. In King Lear, three sisters (and their husbands) each stood to inherit an equal portion of their father's holdings. Ambition and mistrust tore them apart to the point of mutually destructive civil war. Family can sometimes be destructive.

Francis Ford Coppola's The Godfather paints a portrait of a man desperate to separate himself from his family's corruption and gangster culture. Yet, when his own father is threatened, he doesn't hesitate to do whatever is necessary to protect him, even murdering another ranking gangster and a police captain in cold blood. Despite Michael's best efforts, by the end of the film he is accepting his father's own role as Boss of a New York crime family.

One of the most compelling “family-man” characters in recent years is Breaking Bad's Walter White. Walt is a man who, at the beginning of the series, is willing to go any lengths (and I mean any lengths) to protect his family and secure their future. Over time, his ego hijacks his otherwise noble purpose, transforming him from an unfortunate man working for his family to aspiring crime boss who sets a new standard in ruthlessness. As he loses the moral high ground, he also loses his family. By the end of the series they want nothing to do with him or the money he made manufacturing methanphetamine for their sake.

My Family

I am lucky enough to come from a supportive, loving family, and I would do anything for them. But I grew up with plenty of kids whose families treated them like dirt. Some of them grew up to make broken homes of their own, yet others have the most stable households you'd ever see. It makes me wonder how much influence family has, and how much my life is self-determined and how much is conditioned.

Writing About Family

When I'm writing a character, I have to write about their family. Even if the information never makes it out of my notes, it still helps me to round them out, give them a history, and tells me what they'll do before I've even written it. Family just seems too important to ignore.

Got something to say about family? Sound off in the comments. What kind of family do you come from? What would you do if someone were threatening them? How far would you go to secure their safety and happiness? What would you do to defend their legacy and reputation? How important is family to you?